ITA Learning Project - My Journey from Youth to High School Coach – Post #6

For the sake of a narrative, I’m jumbling the time line a bit. This post will be more about my kids than me.  It’s funny – I naturally typed “my kids,” but I’m actually talking about the team.

Last year we had a decent team. We finished in the middle of the pack, but due to a bunch of factors that will bore you, that was a pretty good result for the regular season. The team even earned a home playoff game that they won in OT. I’m tempted to say that my youngest son had a lot to do with the win because of a change in momentum that came with him creating a turnover, beating several players on a run down the field and scoring a goal that electrified the team and the crowd, but there’s no way I would brag on him so I won’t say it. The reward for that win was a trip to the #1 regional seed and a definitive butt-whooping, but the first game is what everybody remembers.

This year, our team is disproportionately made up of underclassmen, but some of the older kids are causing a bit of an issue. There are 8 seniors and a few juniors and the coaching staff (Mike and I) have been struggling to reach some of them.  Mike’s in his second year at the program, and I think some of the kids just see that and think he’s a “new” coach.  Actually, he started the program at this school as a club 12 years ago and has coached at several other schools before returning to us last year. And while I coached many of the seniors when they were in middle school, some of the “louder” kids played youth in neighboring communities or transferred in, so some see me as an “involved dad” instead of a coach. With these dynamics, the season didn’t start very well. Some of the kids resisted my efforts to correct their fundamentals, some wouldn’t listen to strategic guidance from either coach and way too many gave excuses when told they weren’t doing something correctly.  If that sounds like a recipe for a disappointing season, it is.

We started the season with a win, then lost to a team we should have beaten only to be followed by being embarrassed by a team we should have beaten. Our next three games were against tough teams, so we soon found ourselves in a pretty deep hole. Not only were we getting beat by the other team, but we looked like a collection of kids instead of a team. It was at this point something needed to change. By now I was getting comfortable with my coaching skills. I’m not by any stretch thinking I’m where I need to be, but I know that I am providing good information. The problem is too many of the kids aren’t taking what Mike or I say and acting on it. So we had a team meeting.

Meeting is probably not the best word, as there wasn’t a whole lot of dialog. Mike was dealing with the goalies, so I dealt with the rest of the team. I explained the experience that Mike had, including how many kids he coached that went on to play in college (including 3 of last year’s 7 seniors that would have been 4 but my kid wanted to concentrate on Chemical Engineering – not that I would brag about him.) Then I went through some of my experiences in the business world, explaining that having around 200 people working for me meant I knew a thing or two about managing.  Then I told them about how I’m studying to become a teacher, so knowing kids isn’t a problem for me. I also went through my 8 years of coaching and my lacrosse specific training. My point was I knew what I was doing and I was sick of them not listening when Mike or I tried to get them to improve.

I then told the kids something that I think helped – There wasn’t going to be any more broad statements about teamwork or kids’ work ethic. Each one of them had to choose to listen or not. If they chose to accept our coaching, we would help them. If they chose to not, we would work on developing other players to take their spot on the field. I went to the point of requiring each player to come up to me and tell me their answer. I marked it down on a copy of the roster I had in my pocket. That seemed to be a turning point as after that most kids started to really work on improving their stick skills and the teamwork dramatically improved.

There isn’t any technology in this post, but there is some teaching. Sometimes you gotta get into some kids faces to make a change. Demanding respect isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

The varsity team won the next couple games, but even more fun was we had a few JV games after this. Those kids played their hearts out. Watching them leave everything on the field, have fun and improve was rewarding enough to remind me why I want to be a teacher.