Sorry, I have to vent about educators modeling professional behavior.

As I advance in years, I sometimes find myself the strange situation of being the one trying to provide sage advice to younger people. Be they my kids or newly minted professionals who I’ve had the pleasure of helping to train. I often fall back one saying – “Do you remember all the jerks you went to high school with? Well, they get jobs too.” I use this to hide my shock at “adults” that seem to never grow up and rely on the same anti-social behaviors they displayed in their adolescence. Over 25 years in industry pretty much convinced me that not only do the jerks get jobs, they often get promoted and you find yourself working for them.

While pursuing my teaching credentials, I’ve come across a couple situations that show me that my new profession is not dissimilar from my old when it comes to adults acting like mis-behaved children.

I’m in my second course that has field experience in a local school. So far, both of my experiences have been in different schools and different levels in the same urban school district. My first go round was great. I was paired with an intelligent, perceptive and caring teacher whose focus was to teach the kids math AND how to think critically about things. It showed in all the conversations, even the difficult ones with the “problem children.” It was wonderful and I learned a lot. Then one day, this teacher had a meeting so there was a sub. Shattered delusions all around. The sub was rude to the kids during roll and commented derisively on some of their names, as if they chose them for themselves. She pretty much shouted across the room at one kid that since they were a new transfer, they must have been expelled from their previous school. Only to follow it up with a comment like “and that’s the worst school in the district.” I don’t know if the sub was trying to say it, but what I heard was the kid being told that they were obviously not even good enough for the lowest level in this town. Unfortunately, I was completely dumbfounded by their rudeness and I found myself speechless. (Hard to believe if you’ve read any other of my posts.) I’ve kicked myself over and over about my inaction since then. I feel I failed that kid. I had a chance to stand up for him and I kept my head down because I was just observing. I was afraid it would look bad for me if I called out a sub. I didn’t want to get labeled a trouble maker in a district in which I may soon be looking for work.  I really don’t think the situation rose to abuse, but it definitely affected me. Maybe I’m too observant and/or too sensitive, but if it bothers me, I hate to think what the kid feels like.  To soothe my guilty conscience, I keep telling myself that this was just a sub. The kids aren’t exposed to this all the time.

Shortly after that, the Intervention Specialist co-teacher in a class I was observing went on an anti-vaxxer rant. He claimed he got sick from the flu vaccine and told the kids they should never get the shot. What I heard was “To hell with science. Make your decisions from unverifiable, unresearched, worst-case anecdotes from irate people. Jenny McCarthy is a better medical thinker than the likes of Jenner, Salk and Enders. All they did was give humanity the tools to eradicate small pox, polio and measles.”  Don’t make waves, I told myself. The kids don’t need to see one of their teachers called out by a class-room visitor. That would just cause him to lose respect and reduce his effectiveness. Besides, their parents/guardians would make those decisions, not the kids.

This semester I find myself in a classroom on the other side of the city. Different school, different grade level. During one of the classes I sat in on, a topic came up about who was born outside the city. Several kids raised their hands, as did I. As the discussion went around the room, kids talked about where they were born and how they ended up here. Then came my turn. I happened to have been born in a city that the rival NFL team calls home. So, when I mention my home town, one person started booing. It was an Intervention Specialist who was in the room as a co-teacher. I was aghast that my heritage was denigrated simply because this teacher rooted for a different group of millionaire transplant athletes than they assumed I did. How do you react? Something came to mind about not arguing with a fool -  others can’t tell the difference. So once again, I let it go. I should have said something, not for me, but so the teacher knows that booing somebody from somewhere else is NEVER okay. More importantly, so the kids know that. Tribalism leads to fear, distrust, despair and isolation. It doesn’t enhance prosperity, security or societal advancement. I know I’m making a lot out of what most people will say is just good-natured rivalry, but it wasn’t that. I was booed because of where I was from. The co-teacher wasn't reacting to the team, but the town. They didn't even know if I follow football. Do we need more divisions? Does it help us grow if we attach our identities to a sports team?

By far, most of the teachers and staff I’ve observed have been respectful, dedicated and delightful – just what you hope teachers are. Unfortunately, these few anecdotes are not the only childish behavior I’ve witnessed from the adults in the schools.  They’re just the ones that still tick me off.

To the VAST majority of the dedicated adults in the field, I say “Thank you. You inspire the kids. And me.” To those adults that act petty I say, “What do you think your behavior shows kids?”

I’m sorry if I sound preachy. I know I’m so far from the ideal adult that I can’t even see the model. I didn’t even have the courage to confront these educators about their actions.  But come on, we need to think around the kids. We can’t act like we do with our friends. Or even worse, like we do in the anonymous online world. We need to model the ideals we want to see in the world. I’m going to try to remember to always be the change I want to see. I hope anybody reading this will, also.

To paraphrase a pretty smart man, I know only one or two people are going to read this and it certainly won’t be something anybody remembers. But I just had to get it off my chest. I’m sick of yelling at my cats. I pretty sure they’re sick of it, too.